Every woman & every man has experienced and/or has been a participant and/or victim of this evil activity. Myself included. I have come to understand Gossip in it’s true form…is a killer. Do you remember playing the whisper game as a child? One person whispers a word or phrase into another’s ear and they turn to the next and whisper that into the next and so on and so forth until the last available person hears the whisper and repeats aloud for all to hear. 99% of the time the phrase or word was so far off from what the initial person relayed everyone laughs out of pure unbelief. This childish game fits the exact storyline of every whisper that is told that has nothing to do with the story teller aka Gossip session. Unfortunately it still becomes comedy show because who are you fooling, it’s not about you, so why not laugh at someone else’s expense. So let’s talk about why it’s murder.
Murder is a premeditated action by someone toward a specific target. This end of life or last breath outturn gives life to the attackers justification.
1. Premeditated. There are 2 ways to gossip. You see something and repeat it or the second you hear something 2nd hand or further and repeat it. Either one you have full thought process to take in what happened, process it as a priority in your mind & a have a conscience desire to find someone to repeat it to. What is funny about priorities there is no such thing! The word is actually PRIORITY. You can only have ONE priority. When you make someone else’s business your own priority you have chosen to take other things in your life and put them on the back burner. Yes you have chosen to plan to Gossip, premeditated by prioritizing this other persons business as your priority.
2. Target. Most people Gossip about someone they know. This someone most of the time reveals a characteristic or lifestyle that makes the gossiper feel inadequate. That’s why people say gossipers are jealous. This has become the easiest way to explain a gossiper, but it runs deeper than jealousy. It’s a specific quality or set of qualities in that person that makes them a target. Most gossipers don’t talk about everyone, just people that make them feel inadequate, insecure or inferior.
3. Justice. The fact that a gossiper has to spend extreme mindshare to think of their target in such a way as to attempt to alter other people’s opinion of them takes tons of effort & time. The goal is to tell a story in such a way as to belittle & ridicule these or this individual and get other people to agree. This therefore brings joy and also justice for the gossipers feelings of inadequacy, insecurity and inferiority.
If you are a victim reading this just know you are not alone. Although it doesn’t make you feel any better this might. Being a victim of gossip essentially means you have caught the attention of many people including your attacker. You’ve done something to be recognized. Your beautiful, successful, bright, exciting, loud, lively, confident, determined, sexy & a whole lot more. Be proud of who you are. The saying is so true and I love it. “Haters are going to Hate” so let them and keep being you.
Now I do recommend finding ways to protect yourself.
1. Block unneeded people from your life. Living in a day of social media and life broadcast you can minimize yourself in their eyes with a simple block from all of your social media sites. They can’t talk about what they can’t see and the more effort they have to put into digging into your life the less you will see them.
2. Stop justifying what you do. Do not feel like you have to give anyone a reason for taking any actions in your own life. I have learned the more I keep to myself the safer my heart is. “No.” Is a complete sentence.
3. Define an inner circle. Find your select few friends that are your “inner circle” and keep it small. Spend more time alone & with these few people. This will clear your mind & allow your thoughts to guide you instead of reacting to others or constantly having to mine through all the opinions people throw at you.
PS: once you block someone NEVER unblock them.
If you are a gossiper, attacker, murder. Realize you are insecure and if you spend more time on yourself you may find something worth focusing on.