Gossip…is murder

Every woman & every man has experienced and/or has been a participant and/or victim of this evil activity. Myself included. I have come to understand Gossip in it’s true form…is a killer. Do you remember playing the whisper game as a child? One person whispers a word or phrase into another’s ear and they turn to the next and whisper that into the next and so on and so forth until the last available person hears the whisper and repeats aloud for all to hear. 99% of the time the phrase or word was so far off from what the initial person relayed everyone laughs out of pure unbelief. This childish game fits the exact storyline of every whisper that is told that has nothing to do with the story teller aka Gossip session. Unfortunately it still becomes comedy show because who are you fooling, it’s not about you, so why not laugh at someone else’s expense. So let’s talk about why it’s murder.

Murder is a premeditated action by someone toward a specific target. This end of life or last breath outturn gives life to the attackers justification.

1. Premeditated. There are 2 ways to gossip. You see something and repeat it or the second you hear something 2nd hand or further and repeat it. Either one you have full thought process to take in what happened, process it as a priority in your mind & a have a conscience desire to find someone to repeat it to. What is funny about priorities there is no such thing! The word is actually PRIORITY. You can only have ONE priority. When you make someone else’s business your own priority you have chosen to take other things in your life and put them on the back burner. Yes you have chosen to plan to Gossip, premeditated by prioritizing this other persons business as your priority.

2. Target. Most people Gossip about someone they know. This someone most of the time reveals a characteristic or lifestyle that makes the gossiper feel inadequate. That’s why people say gossipers are jealous. This has become the easiest way to explain a gossiper, but it runs deeper than jealousy. It’s a specific quality or set of qualities in that person that makes them a target. Most gossipers don’t talk about everyone, just people that make them feel inadequate, insecure or inferior.

3. Justice. The fact that a gossiper has to spend extreme mindshare to think of their target in such a way as to attempt to alter other people’s opinion of them takes tons of effort & time. The goal is to tell a story in such a way as to belittle & ridicule these or this individual and get other people to agree. This therefore brings joy and also justice for the gossipers feelings of inadequacy, insecurity and inferiority.

If you are a victim reading this just know you are not alone. Although it doesn’t make you feel any better this might. Being a victim of gossip essentially means you have caught the attention of many people including your attacker. You’ve done something to be recognized. Your beautiful, successful, bright, exciting, loud, lively, confident, determined, sexy & a whole lot more. Be proud of who you are. The saying is so true and I love it. “Haters are going to Hate” so let them and keep being you.

Now I do recommend finding ways to protect yourself.

1. Block unneeded people from your life. Living in a day of social media and life broadcast you can minimize yourself in their eyes with a simple block from all of your social media sites. They can’t talk about what they can’t see and the more effort they have to put into digging into your life the less you will see them.

2. Stop justifying what you do. Do not feel like you have to give anyone a reason for taking any actions in your own life. I have learned the more I keep to myself the safer my heart is. “No.” Is a complete sentence.

3. Define an inner circle. Find your select few friends that are your “inner circle” and keep it small. Spend more time alone & with these few people. This will clear your mind & allow your thoughts to guide you instead of reacting to others or constantly having to mine through all the opinions people throw at you.

PS: once you block someone NEVER unblock them.

If you are a gossiper, attacker, murder. Realize you are insecure and if you spend more time on yourself you may find something worth focusing on.

To The Woman…

To the woman…

Who gets up everytime the baby cries
Who smiles instead of rolling her eyes
Who has mastered the 2 minute shower
Who never seems to lose her power
Who throws on lipstick to brighten her day
Whose internal thoughts never seems to say
Who smiles like there’s no tomorrow
Who tailors gifts to upturn sorrow
Whose tears travel somewhere within
Whose light that never seems to dim
Whose true passions may never surface
Who shows up and never seems nervous
Who listens to what everyone else is feeling
Who internalizes instead of healing
Who seems to get it all done regardless
Whose heart is secretly broken in darkness
…I see you

-Heather’s Refresh

Dear Daughter

You were created to be so unique and amazing. You are amazing. You will succeed and be so full of joy. You are beautiful, stunning and creative. You are talented, anointed and precise. Every strength has been given to you by God to grow and every weakness has been given to you so you trust God and allow him to move. You will have friends, so many friends, true relationships to love and share this world with. You will have dreams and aspirations that will grow from the very seeds God planted in you. When you love, love with all of your heart, when you jump, jump all in, when you imagine, let your imagination run wild and when you speak go ahead girl, shout out with all your might. Lastly for tonight, I want to remind you to dance when your heart tells you to. Listen closely and be quick to move with the melody God gave you as your symphony.

Break Out, Break Free…

Don’t let life pass you by because you are afraid to move or be seen or make a mistake. Make plenty of mistakes and never stop growing, reaching and learning. We learn how to survive and we learn how to overcome. We learn how to fight and we learn how to run. Freedom is an acceptance to be you, be creative, expressive, to love and to love again. You are a survivor and an overcomer. These are not words to define who we are ladies these are words that describe what we do with life. Today is the day to no longer be controlled by fear or be defined by life happenings. Break out of your shell and breathe fresh new air. Your heart is beating a new beat and dancing to a new song. Let your true self shine, smile and be free. Let’s find the true creative, loving, living, life breathing, captivating, expressive, uniquely designed you and let her out.

No Love…then Hush

There is so much bundled up in the 1Corinthians 13. I have faced some true revelation in this sentence lately “…but if I don’t have Love, I have Nothing.”

Think about it. How many times a day are we expressing our opinions about how others live life, respond to life and make decisions. Sometimes we listen and give advise. Let’s face it, sometimes we just give advise with out listening.

Have you ever stopped and really thought about where your thoughts about someone or even where your advise is coming from. We often say “I am saying this… out of Love” but are you really? Does it truly pain you to see someone hurting? Or does their actions just bother or frustrate you?

It’s time to truly embrace the fact that it’s not about you. It’s not about how this person makes you feel. It’s not about how much they’ve hurt you. It’s not about how frustrated you are. It’s not about you at all. And if you can’t keep from adding in these emotions and details then you are not in a place to advise. Matter of fact it’s about time you turn the focus on yourself and ask God to reveal why someone else’s actions or words have that much affect on you. Jesus came to bring peace and rest. Are you living in the peace and rest regardless of other people’s actions?

What would it look like if we zipped our lip until we could honestly say we were speaking out of a true place of Love?

How do you know you are responding out of love?

When you can speak about the situation with peace and rest, then you are in a good position to speak and advise someone out of love. If you can not speak about the situation with out getting emotional, frustrated, elaborate, animated and/or angry then you should opt to zip it.

So if you don’t have Love…then let’s just make a decision today to shhhhhh. Start seeking God for your own Peace and pray for a heart of Love towards others. Pray to see them from Gods eyes. Pray that God reminds you to hush when any unwholesome words may pass your lips. Like I tell my kids. If you are not going to say something that builds someone up then choose to smile and say I don’t know but I know I love you.

A Moment of Silence

A moment of silence…or many of them.

“Silence is a Blessing”

I have come to realize my silent moments are truly a blessing. I am no neurologist or psychiatrist but I picture my brain having an army of hundreds of little battle ready soldiers firing extra thoughts, facts, worries, reminders and countless of other bullets that hinder my current thought process and sometimes completely wipe out my well thought out daily plans. It’s like our brains work even more when we quit moving. Once I settle in for the evening I feel like my brain quadruples it’s work load & activity level. Do we capture these thoughts, do we try to ignore them, do I embrace the constant rambling in my head?

No. I breath. I breath slower and slower. With every breath I say

“Lord I just thank you, I thank you for the ability to dream, I thank you for the strategy you give me, I thank you for the life you have blessed me with, I thank you for my family, I thank you for all those around me that I love, I thank you for all those around me that love me, I thank you that you are working wonders each and every moment of every day in and around me. I thank you for your rest, I thank you for the reminder to “Be still and Know”. I know you desire me to live in peace and comfort. I do not have to have all of the answers or all of the plans. I will give you the time to teach me and guide me in everything I do. I thank you Lord”

After this prayer, I take in a few more breaths, capturing each thought, acknowledging that everything will align in God’s perfect timing. Breathing in again. I love the  music of 432 hz. If you just search on YouTube for 432 hz music you will find plenty, choose your favorite one and download it so you can have it readily available for 2-3 times per day silent moments.

I love this revelation of the blessing of silent moments. I pray that God reveals to you areas of your life he can bring peace and rest.

Cried at 35

So today I turned 35. It has been the most emotional birthday yet. I am not quite sure if it was because today is my birthday or if its just an emotional day.  Perhaps it has to do with the amount of chaos an adult handles at this point in their life with friends and family. I was actually sad today. I mean I absolutely adored the gift scavenger hunt the girls lead me on at 645 am the morning. That was wonderful, joyous & fulfilling. But I was emotional and sad today. I was faced with a lot of memories & quick glimpse of my life in flashes. In these visions I saw crying, fighting, joy, laughter, love, sadness, fear, accomplishment, challenge, fast, slow & everything in between.

So whether it has to do with today being the start of my 36th year venture or not, I am going to take a moment to declare some changes, focus’s & dreams. If I were my 70 year old self, what would I say to my 35 year old self.


Don’t work your life away. Spend time with the people you love. You have faith and trust in the Lord don’t live it part of the time, live it all of the time.

Ask Him to show you every morning “What else can I give you, that I haven’t already”.

His desire is for you to live a joyful, fulfilled life.

Take a moment each day to breath in your blessings.

Think about what you are doing that requires God & what you are doing that only requires your own strength and talents. Allowing God to use you is way less exhausting.

Ask God to show you how to spend time with the beautiful daughters of yours. Time that will create memories and have a lasting impression. Make this a priority.

Look people in the eyes. So much is missed when you don’t see someone’s spirit by looking them in the eyes.

See the beauty in all of God’s creation, it is breath taking. Take a moment every day and ask God to reveal the beauty around. The beauty that so many people are missing in this fast paced life.

Listen to the songs lyrics people are speaking in, there is a melody, we just don’t take the time to listen.

Love on each other first above all else. Above correction, above expression, above solving problems, above success, above challenges, above progress, LOVE.

Know that God will take care of your future, do not waste these precious moments worrying about the next 35 years, enjoy them.

Don’t skip any moment sharing what God’s heart is to others. Too many people skip these moments, they race past them, they avoid them, they see them as insignificant, don’t skip any of these moments. Share the heart of God with everyone you can.

Be Jesus, be Jesus’s hands, feet, voice & vessel.

I thank God for this moment in time. For slowing down, for the revelations, for the blessings of that still small voice. I hope this poetic glimpse of the rest of my life is a blessing to you.



Called to Live Joyfully

I pray this message pierces your heart & penetrates to its core, In Jesus Name Amen.

You are called to Be Alive in Christ, to Live Rejoicing, to Sing with Gladness, to Dance Cheerfully, to Shout with Joy, to Laugh Freely & To Love with Abandon

When is the last time you experienced all of this in one day…in one week?

I feel the Lord impressing this so deep on my heart I can hardly stand it. The enemy has definitely come to steal our Joy. In many ways he has convinced Gods daughters & sons that Joy is earned. He has convinced us that joyful days are more like moments in time that come rarely & barely last long enough to create a memory.

Doing something with Abandon means to behave in a wild way! To let go & cease from caring how others will react or perceive.

Can you believe that this is the very reason why we control our Joy? Because others will think we are crazy!

Think about it. When your spirit is calling you to sing or dance joyfully, how often do you just let go & freely shout the song in your spirit or recklessly let go & dance with gladness?

Answer these questions in your Journal in regards to joyful actions to include all things that others or even myself think are crazy:

1. Why don’t I just do it?

2. What is really holding me back?

3. When is the last time I truly experienced Joy

4. What promises of Joyful living do I believe?

5. What scriptures remind me of Gods desire for me to live Joyful?

This is just the beginning of this Blog & the message and call God has put on my heart to share with you. Let’s take this Journey together.

Feel free to comment or message me freely.

Out of The Mud

Lift your eyes my child, for when you walk towards me there is no need to hold your head low. Come and I will teach you, come see the world through my eyes. May I give you a vision that is different from yours? Will you choose to see how I see? I am asking, I will not tell you what to do. I have given you that freedom amongst many freedoms. I have given you choice as weapon. Often times you come so close and yet you still turn away. May I have this dance my daughter? You can stand on my feet, I will guide your ways and hold your heart as you trust me once again.